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Given the unwritten British rule that forbids anyone to utter a word on public transport, you have to play this one right. After some serious eye contact, I once gave a business card to a French girl during rush hour.

When she emailed me later in the morning, I replied: "Were you the one on the Central line or Piccadilly line? Before I knew it, there were ooh-la-las aplenty. Night buses are also prime chat-up territory — along with Craigavon fetish house or travelling by train, if you strike gold with your seat number. Just don't be the snake on the plane. Everyone pretends they're beavering away on something important, but in reality, most library-goers spend their days lusting after all the unexpectedly hot people Tauton encounter rifling through ancient manuscripts.]