About a week ago I wrote a complete post here about being so darn angry at being so darn lonely. In an attempt at being honest I went on and on about not understanding where my mister Right (or even my mister Right Now!) was. How a nice, decent, hard working and (oke, just this once) cute (semi) young lady like myself still found herself alone on major milestone moments. Not to mention on the major break down moments. You know what happened to that post?? It miraculously deleted itself!! I swear to God! It did. After writing at least 2000 angry words, they all disappeared just as I was about to hit the publish button. Which reminds me, I need to hit “save draft” just about now.
I nearly broke my i-pad in a thousand pieces before bursting out into the ugly cry. Not only was I single but not even allowed to moan about it! Jezus! Good thing I was working in a cafe and so the option of ugly crying went out the window, together with my now non existing post. This would be a good point to insert some signs that are supposed to replace curse words. You know, I’m a good girl after all….
But later that night, after scraping myself of the floor I got it. At least I sort of got it. That anger was not doing any one any good. Least of all myself. It just made me feel lonely plus angry. As if the lonely part wasn’t bad enough. Not to say that I think that I, or any one else for that matter, should not acknowledge anger when it comes up. But if you don’t use that anger to transform it into something positive at some point it will turn to poison. So after licking my wounds, making myself chocolate dessert after chocolate dessert (I’ll share one in my next post) and taking very very long naps for a week or so I decided to turn this Mother around. I decided to write myself a love letter instead.
Yes a LOVE LETTER. Of the kind that I would want to receive from a lover. And am sure I will some day. It is too personal to share all of it here but I will share some of the highlights with you. If all this is just too mushy for you, I will take no offense whatsoever if you jump right to the recipe. Which is delicious by the way and designed especially to go with my love letter.
My darling Danielle,
What do you say to the woman who is everything you ever wanted and so much more? How do you make sure she gets that she is magnificent, inspiring, one of your world wonders and a major ” raison d’etre” in your life? Do you give her a big stoned ring to show her you care? Sure, you’d like that. But as you are not that into material things it wouldn’t impress you much. Do you take her to a tropical paradise and hand feed her young coconut flesh from the coconut for which you just risked your life for by climbing in a super tall tree while you suck at climbing trees just to pick one for her? I know, I am probably getting warmer. Tropical and coconut in one sentence is a good starting point when it concerns you.
Or do you keep it simple and just rub her tired feet when she gets back from yet another 13 hour cooking gig? Do you hold her close when a publisher rejected her cookbook and whisper in her ear that he is just an ignorant idiot? And mean it! Do you send her sweet whatsapp messages to wish her good night when you are out of town? Do you help her build her dream not just because you love her, but because you believe in it as passionately as she does?
My beautiful angel, all these things and many more that will make you flash that illuminating smile of yours I will do gladly. But I know that the most direct path to your heart is through your stomach. So here’s what I will do for you. I will go to the farmers market and get the greenest shiniest courgette I can find. While I’m there I might as well get a gorgeous thick skinned lemon, some fragrant basil (which you told me is sacred in India, as you are sacred to me), a good chunck of pecorino and a bunch of wild rucola. After I’ll search the whole of Amsterdam until I find the thinnest organic black rice spaghetti on offer. I’ll stop at your (sorry, our) favorite persian grocer for perfectly green whole pistachios and first grade quality rose water. Finally on my way home I will pick up the prettiest deep velvet red rose I can find and make you this dish. I won’t skimp on the special ingredient which you always use so lavishly when you cook for others. LOVE. Why? Because you deserve the best and as long as I am alive I will make sure that that is exactly what you get.
When you eat this think of how much you are loved. Not just by me but by every living, breathing thing on this planet. Let every bite of this dish remind you of what you already know. You are love in its purest form and, like me, love has no other choice but to be where ever you are.
So my darling angel, bon appetit and know you are loved!
This dish is good for anyone who can use an extra helping of love. Dosha aside!
For 1 (Yep, you’re darn right!)
- About 10 to 15 big basil leaves
- 1 heaped tablespoon of dry roasted pistachios
- 25 grams pecorino
- 1 garlic clove
- 2 tablespoons good quality olive oil
- zest of half a lemon
- 1 teaspoon rosewater (optional)
Mix everything in a tiny food processor till you get a nice paste. I kept mine on the chunky side, cause that’s how I like my pesto. This recipe makes a bit more than you will need for the dish. It is delicous on morning toast with slices of boiled egg or avocado on top. But would also work perfectly as a pizza topping.
- 85 grams black rice spaghetti
- 1/2 a big courgette in medium thick slices
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- a few rucola leaves for garnish
- small basil leaves for garnish
- a pretty (edible) rose petal for garnish
- some pecorino shavings for garnish
- extra lemon zest for garnish (optional)
Boil plenty of water in a medium sized pan. Once boiling add the rice pasta, return to the boil before turning down the heat and leaving the pasta to cook for 5 minutes till done. Drain pasta in a sieve. Mix through 2 tablespoons of the pesto right away or serve with pesto on the side if desired.
Fry the courgette in the olive oil in hot frying pan. Make sure they retain their white /green colour though. So don’t let them catch too much. Season well when cooked.
To serve drape the courgette slices in a circle on a pretty plate. (Make sure it’s pretty, otherwise there is no point in eating this dish!). In the middle of the circle arrange the black spaghetti like a little (or big) birds nest. Scoop a dollop of the pesto on top. Garnish with the pecorino, rose petal, rucola and basil leaves.